I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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