We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
