lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
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Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
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I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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