CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
