you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
