Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
