Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
