I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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