remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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