the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
