We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize