I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
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Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
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Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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