is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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