He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Never underestimate the power of titties
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