i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
