Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
