hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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