ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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