I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
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She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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