lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
