omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
