haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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