Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
