I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
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She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
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I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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