did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
