I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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