I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
