i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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