You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
