i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
