Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
