There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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