I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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