i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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