I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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