She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize