checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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