I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he wants to bone in the snuggie
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
