You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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