PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
