the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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