Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize