ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
