So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
