oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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