Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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