Jerry, you need to find god
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
