She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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