Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
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I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
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Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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