I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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