I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
