That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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