there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
