Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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