She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
